Find Ease In The Ego: Shut Down Self-Doubt

Ego is not a dirty word. Freud’s enduring notion on ego pitches it as pleasure-seeking, yet rational.* Structured, solution-oriented, process-driven. Ego considers etiquette and social pressures. The ego has decision making power. It is the governing body of your personality.

A robust ego is a badass. It can keep us safe. When life, lemons, and ass*hats shake us to the core, a hearty ego keeps the foundation intact. An ego that reminds itself that “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me” is an ego that serves as its own superhero.

Oddly, we’re not allowed to celebrate a healthy ego. We are taught the importance of self-esteem and told to be confident; simultaneously, we are directed to avoid conceit and taught that pride is a sin.

How can one toe this line of conflicting messages?

I am supposed to believe in myself, but I am not supposed to be proud of my achievements?

We live in a world full of people who deflect a sincere compliment instead of saying “thank you.” A world full of I’m-Sorry-Sallys incessantly apologizing for everything: for asking questions, for interrupting and intruding, for needing something, basically apologizing for existing. A world full of Give-Away-Power-Peters cultivating the modest and meek, deferring, relinquishing.

This cannot be serving the highest good of humanity.

I do not dispute that ego can be a dirty word: egomaniac, egomaniacal, egotism. I concur that an ego the size of Texas does not serve the highest good of humanity either. I certainly do not support self-important, arrogantly-cocky windbaggery.

I do however support fostering a stable relationship with your ego. Allow your inner-ego-badass-superhero to sing your praise and remind you of how truly great you are. I encourage self-congratulation over self-castigation. Cultivate an appropriate degree of humility, but also be bold, be assertive, be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished.

Dance like nobody is watching – right along the edge betwixt self-confident and conceited.

Find ease with your ego. Don’t dim your shine. Instead, be the light to guide others out of the darkness.

“Your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness.” – Ram Dass

“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.” – Carl Jung

“Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.” – Sara Henderson

“In broaching the possibility of being, in some way, against self-criticism, we have to imagine a world in which celebration is less suspect than criticism.”- Maria Popova

Citation:*McLeod, S. A. (2016). Id, Ego and Superego. Retrieved from www.simplypsychology.org/psyche.html