Fear of Exposure, Fear of Being Seen, Fear of Being Known

… because one near-debilitating fear isn’t enough.

It’s scary to put yourself out there. It’s scary to step up, step in. It’s vulnerable and raw.

Think of a time when you felt totally exposed, out of your element, and so far out of your comfort zone you couldn’t even see the zone’s edge… got that memory?

How did you really feel? Afraid, sure… but did you also feel excitement? Anxiety, sure… but did you also feel anticipation – even a knowing that something big was happening.

You were playing a bigger game.

Was it worth it? Abso-fu*cking-lutely!

“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible to this world. Risk being seen in all of your glory.” – Jim Carrey

Did you fall on flat on your face? I have! I’m a figure skater – I mean this figuratively and literally. Well, I’ve heard it said that failure builds character. You didn’t die. Maybe you even learned some new skills in nursing a battered ego back to health.

Or, did you totally fu*cking rock it? I have! I’ve done things that really really scared me. Mind you, I have a bit of a “panic disorder” (so the doctor says), so I “manage” what he calls “generalized anxiety.” I don’t let this stop me or hold me back. I also don’t let me hold me back… and I certainly don’t let naysayers hold me back.

Get out of your own way. Get rid of people who don’t support you. I’m not saying this is easy: I’m saying it is worth it.

Here’s the deal: everyone is going to have an opinion about you. Everyone is going to judge you. Opinions are formed and judgments are made regardless of what you do — so you may as well do whatever the hell you want. Uplevel yourself. Uplevel some aspect of your life. Don’t play it safe, take risks, and bet on yourself.

Here’s the other deal: your work or your message isn’t going to be for everyone. You will have critics. If you’re doing something worthwhile, if you’re standing for anything – hell, if you’re being your authentic self – you’ll have critics. But you’ll have fans and supporters, too. The critics are not the ones who count. Hope for their highest good, and let that sh*it go.

“If you aren’t in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.” – Brené Brown

When you’re making a big, bold move… consider that it’s probably meant to be. You’re likely serving the people you’re meant to serve. Guiding the people you’re meant to guide. Serving as an inspiration to the people who need inspiring. Perhaps you’re a messenger (maybe with a critic or two popping off rounds in your general direction). It’s worth it for the cause.

You started playing this bigger game for a reason. Keep going. Stay the course. Do it alongside the fear of exposure, of being seen, of being known… judgments are a given, fear is a given, but courage — courage is a choice. Be brave. Keep going.

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” – Joseph Chilton Pearce

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

– Theodore Roosevelt