Give Yourself Permission

You have been conditioned to ask for permission.

As a child, you were taught to ask permission to play outside, to eat a snack before dinner, to stay up late. You may have even had to ask permission to go to the bathroom. By the time I got to high school I found this patently offensive.

As an adult, you are still asking permission. You ask employers permission to leave work early to perform in an ice skating recital, or to use paid vacation days to skip town to swim with sea turtles. You ask your partner permission to get drunk and stay out all night, or depending on your partner, maybe even ask permission to make out with strangers.

While I am a huge advocate for people doing whatever the hell they want (with the caveat to do no harm to others), I do not dispute the value in asking others for permission to take certain actions. Seems like a valid part of the social contract.

However, I question how far our permission-seeking conditioning bleeds beyond what is healthy.

People have a funky way of holding back in profound ways.

Could part of this be that we feel we need permission to BE certain ways, and that permission is not readily granted?

Do I reign in my awesomeness because I need permission to be awesome?

Do men reign in their love of salmon-colored shirts and glitter because they do not have permission to like something deemed feminine?

Do women pretend that they don’t understand algebra or that they can’t change a tire because they do not have permission to have abilities deemed masculine?

Does a 13-year-old growing into her own body have permission to think she is beautiful, without being judged as arrogant?

Do you play it safe, play it small, reign it in, hold back… because you don’t feel you have permission to do, be, and have all that you desire?

If so, who or what can grant permission? As with so many things, I believe the answer lies within. We each have the power to grant ourselves the permission we seek (or, alternatively to decide that we do not need permission).

Say YES to yourself. Love that glittery salmon shirt. Scoff at that flat tire. Tell yourself how beautiful you are. Go ahead and BE awesome.

In fact, let’s take this whole permission-granting thing to another level…

Give yourself permission to overcome your doubts and fears. Permission to let go of the past. Permission to LET GO of what no longer serves you. Permission to not give a fu*ck what people think of you.

Give yourself permission to be vulnerable & honest. Permission to forgive yourself. Permission to forgive someone else. Permission to fail. Permission to be sad, angry, or hurt. Permission to move forward, to be happy. Permission to heal. Permission to FEEL. Permission to be great. To shine. To stand in the sun.

Permission to BE Bold.

Permission to BE YOU. Permission to RISE.

“When you take charge of your life there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life.” – Geoffrey F. Abert

“Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

“You don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy. Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, but because you choose to see it as such.” – Ralph Marston