Confidence in the self is a funny thing. When wielded properly, it has the power to get you what you want. It has the power to assuage a troubled soul. It is also something that can be faked. Even faked well enough to not just be believed, but faked well enough that it creates the genuine thing. Confidence can truly be a “fake it ’til you make it” feeling.
Self-confidence, noun, a thing you want, a thing you can have: the feeling or belief that you can rely on yourself, that you’ve got what it takes, that you can do it, a trust in the self and your abilities.
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.”
– Maya Angelou
How to be more confident, you ask? I’ve a few tips for the seeking-self-confidence journeyer!
Claim Confidence Tip 1: Decide to BE more confident.
Yup, it’s that simple. Decide to be more confident for no other reason than you simply want to be more confident. Don’t question it. Don’t hem and haw about it. Just decide to BE it. That is how powerful you are.
Are you internally rebelling against this notion? Are your eyes rolling and your mind reeling with a “no, it’s not that simple. I can’t just decide to be more confident.” Stop, just stop. Shut down your doubt. Have some faith – in yourself. To decide to BE more confident is actually quite powerful, quite profound, and quite possible. Just choose.
Claim Confidence Tip 2: Give yourself permission to BE more confident.
Are you waiting for someone to tell you that you can have more confidence, or that you can be more confident? Are you waiting for outside approval? Don’t. You have the power and the right to give yourself permission to be, do, and have anything you want — including permission to BE confident in who you are and confident in what you can do.
Couple CC Tip 1 & 2 – decide to be confident pairs well with permission to be confident. One feeds the other.
Claim Confidence Tip 3: BE a person who you like.
Do you like yourself? An odd question… a scary question…
This question serves as an awesome opportunity to really BE honest with yourself.
If your answer is not a resounding “YES,” then what is it that you don’t like? What can you do to become a person you like very much? This is your opportunity for growth, for evolution — this is your opportunity to seize self-confidence from its source.
I like myself when I’m kind and compassionate. I’m not a huge fan of the me that’s pretty much cold-hearted and lacks any sense of human decency. She’s a Shadow Side that rears her ruthless and uncaring head now and again.
I don’t like that I’m either messy or neurotically organized. I’d prefer to be organized-adjacent in most (or all!) areas of my life, as opposed to the what exploded in here Mess and the whoa, do you have issues Organization. While I’d prefer a happy middle ground between these two extremes, I can accept it as an area for improvement and like myself for being honest with me.
Figure out what you don’t like, and be something better. BE someone that you like.
Claim Confidence Tip 4: Accept that confidence has an ebb and flow.
Confidence can wax and wane. Consider that you don’t have to strive to be self-confident all day, every day, about all things.
Confidence feeds itself, and will grow over time. BE confident in your ability to figure things out… to grow… to learn… that is confidence enough.
Claim Confidence Tip 5: Honor your personal brand of confidence.
Recognize that confidence may not present the same in every person. It may not look the same in every person. Your personal brand of confidence may very well be a take no prisoners approach to life. It may be something more subtle, a softer confidence – maybe less fiery, but no less fierce.
What is recognized as confidence is faith in the self, assurance in the self, trust in one’s own abilities.
“A tiger doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.”
– Unknown
Inhale Confidence. Exhale Doubt.
Shine your confidence out into the world. BE confident in who you are and what you are capable of.
And above all else: Make no apology for believing in yourself.
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“Confidence is not ‘they will like me.’
Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.’“
– Unknown
“With confidence, you have won before you have started.”
– Marcus Garvey
