Moments of seeming insignificant create massive impact in our lives, on who we are.
In my experience it is the little things that have the most meaning. It is the little moments that become cherished memories.
We’re taught to cherish monumental experiences, like graduating, getting married, having a baby. While these big life experiences are remembered, even cherished, many of my most cherished memories, the moments that have profoundly affected me, changed me, touched me, did not occur on these monumental days.
“Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
Certainly, my wedding day stands out in my mind as special (for the record: my husband and I eloped – to a Maui beach, just us, an officiate with a guitar, his photographer wife, and a dozen rented doves).
But what really stands out in my mind is the chocolate ice cream cone that was melting in my then boyfriend’s (now husband’s) hand as we walked the beach discussing whether or not we should get married. It wasn’t romantic, but it was moving. There was something about that soft-brown melted ice cream dripping down his hand that broke my heart wide open. It was a moment when he looked so sweet (and he is), vulnerable, and like a person I would want to gaze in the same direction with for the rest of my life.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery
When we argue, I don’t think back to our wedding day to remember why we’re together, I think back to that melted chocolate ice cream cone.
I have never been one to be particularly moved by flowers and dinner. A clichéd date-night-platitude doesn’t speak to who I am. I am however deeply moved by a little “Om” charm, that fits perfectly onto a Pandora bracelet, which had to be special ordered because Pandora doesn’t make a yoga-charm. This is a gesture that speaks to who I am and what I love. It demonstrates thoughtfulness, which is something I cherish and deeply appreciate. At first blush it may seem like a simple gift, but to me it was a huge demonstration of knowing who I am and what I appreciate.
I have never been one to feel particularly supported by a “good luck!” I am however deeply moved by a well-crafted “good luck” text that references an inside joke and/or a meme chosen specifically because the sender knew exactly what would bring a smile to my face (I’m nodding at you Grumpy Cat memes!).
I value the things that seem little, but are huge. I value thoughtfulness. I value being known, being seen, being understood by others.
“It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.”
– Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Consider the “little things” in your life that are actually the big things. Maybe take a moment to send off a note of appreciation to a friend for a little act of thoughtfulness they gave to you (hand written notes always encouraged!). Your little note may touch them and become one of their cherished memories.
“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
– Khalil Gibran
“But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”
– George Eliot, Middlemarch
