Month: April 2016

I am not ready. 

I want it to be perfect. The procrastinator problem.

It may not be the right path. The worry woe.

I am unsure. The doubt dilemma. 

I am not ready. A lame lament.

Harsh, perhaps. 

If you are working on something that is important to you, scratching an internal itch for something you want to achieve, then you may never feel ready. You may never feel ready to step fully into the Journey, or never feel ready to share your vision or work with the world.

Taking up a challenge, answering a calling, it is difficult work. It is scary. We are human, fully equipped with doubts, fears, and uncertainties. We are also fully equipped with all the resources we will ever need to be, do, or have all that we desire. This includes the ability to find a way, or create a way. The ability to learn what needs to be learned. The ability to figure it out.

You are empowered with everything you need. All that you are, all that you have right now is enough. The skills, the drive, the desire – it is all enough.

What is it that you want? To start a business, lose weight, run a marathon, write a book, become a yoga instructor, teach a junior college course in ceramics, learn how to ice skate, adopt a special needs puppy, jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Whatever it is…

Begin. Launch. Get going.

Stop balking. The time is now.

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and Magic in it. Begin it now.” – Goethe

“Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else. Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your thoughts as your own personal reality.” – Beverly Sills

“Doubt and delay are evidence of a disconnection from faith and courage. Do not doubt that you can be a person of greatness, nor delay the acts of strength and love that will prove it.” – Brendon Burchard

“If you have any negative recurring emotion in your life, doesn’t maturity require you to face it and say ‘hey, how do I fix this?'” – Brendon Burchard

written by Jenni

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You have been conditioned to ask for permission.

As a child, you were taught to ask permission to play outside, to eat a snack before dinner, to stay up late. You may have even had to ask permission to go to the bathroom. By the time I got to high school I found this patently offensive.

As an adult, you are still asking permission. You ask employers permission to leave work early to perform in an ice skating recital, or to use paid vacation days to skip town to swim with sea turtles. You ask your partner permission to get drunk and stay out all night, or depending on your partner, maybe even ask permission to make out with strangers.

While I am a huge advocate for people doing whatever the hell they want (with the caveat to do no harm to others), I do not dispute the value in asking others for permission to take certain actions. Seems like a valid part of the social contract.

However, I question how far our permission-seeking conditioning bleeds beyond what is healthy.

People have a funky way of holding back in profound ways.

Could part of this be that we feel we need permission to BE certain ways, and that permission is not readily granted?

Do I reign in my awesomeness because I need permission to be awesome? 

Do men reign in their love of salmon-colored shirts and glitter because they do not have permission to like something deemed feminine? 

Do women pretend that they don’t understand algebra or that they can’t change a tire because they do not have permission to have abilities deemed masculine? 

Does a 13-year-old growing into her own body have permission to think she is beautiful, without being judged as arrogant?

Do you play it safe, play it small, reign it in, hold back… because you don’t feel you have permission to do, be, and have all that you desire? 

If so, who or what can grant permission? As with so many things, I believe the answer lies within. We each have the power to grant ourselves the permission we seek (or, alternatively to decide that we do not need permission).

Say YES to yourself. Love that glittery salmon shirt. Scoff at that flat tire. Tell yourself how beautiful you are. Go ahead and BE awesome.

In fact, let’s take this whole permission-granting thing to another level…

Give yourself permission to overcome your doubts and fears. Permission to let go of the past. Permission to LET GO of what no longer serves you. Permission to not give a fu*ck what people think of you.

Give yourself permission to be vulnerable & honest. Permission to forgive yourself. Permission to forgive someone else. Permission to fail. Permission to be sad, angry, or hurt. Permission to move forward, to be happy. Permission to heal. Permission to FEEL. Permission to be great. To shine. To stand in the sun.

Permission to BE Bold.

Permission to BE YOU. Permission to RISE.

“When you take charge of your life there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life.” – Geoffrey F. Abert

“Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

“You don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy. Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, but because you choose to see it as such.” – Ralph Marston

written by Jenni

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Say it with me: “It is okay for me to lose my shit!”  Shower sing it loud and proud. Scream it in your car. Adopt it like it’s a 3-legged kitten. Own it like it’s a fuck*ing bonged-beer in 4-seconds flat.

Seriously, it is okay for you to lose your shit. Crack wide open, break apart. Ooze something awful. Let it out, fully and completely.

Now, I do not mean to lose your shit on another human, maybe not even in the vicinity of another human, depending on whether or not your friends suck. Take heed: it is not okay to lose your shit on another human. It is, however, okay to feel what is real, to release, to have a bad day, or week, or month. It is okay to throw your hands up and lose it.

It is also okay to:

Give yourself permission to spin into full panic mode.

To confess that you are losing your shit, or that you have lost your shit.

To not pretend that you have not lost your shit.

To cry in the car for a full 20-minutes on the way to your destination, wipe away the tears, then hold your head high and pretend that didn’t just happen.

To ugly-cry while wrapped up into a tiny ball on the kitchen floor.

To completely check out, butt cheeks cemented to couch, staring at a spot on the wall for hours.

It is okay to… let go of control. It is okay to not be sure of what you’re doing with your life. It is also okay to confess that you’re not really sure. It is okay to be afraid, to be uncertain, to push forward on shaky knees. But push forward you will.

It is okay to lose your shit. Trust yourself. You will in fact re-claim your shit. You’ll pull it together when the time is right. The bent pieces will mend. The E6000-glued-back-together pieces will be stronger. The broken pieces will make for better stories. You will Phoenix. You will RISE.

“How can you rise, if you have not burned?” – Hiba Fatima Ahmad

“Phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes.” – Albus Dumbledore

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means that you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” – Unknown

written by Jenni

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The lion has come to represent strength, boldness, and power. The eagle represents freedom. A butterfly a symbol of  transformation. Be bold, be a lion. Be yourself, soar like an eagle. Be comfortable with change, embrace the plight of the butterfly. This is all decent advice. A bit trite, but decent nonetheless.

But the squirrel… skittish, shy, weak, a prey animal. Squirrels are flawed; however, squirrels get sh*it done in the face of these flaws. Squirrels are survivors.

Squirrels live strategically, with intent, with a through-line. Well in advance of winter, they begin to store nuts. Knowing that food-scarcity is coming, squirrels plan ahead. Scavenging for food for the day and future days, all the while dodging cars, cats, and other threats to life and limb.

Adding to the brilliance, some squirrels even “scatter hoard,” hiding food in many different locations. If another animal steals their food, the squirrel has another stash. Squirrels are strategic survivors.

The squirrel-stash was not built in a day. The squirrel was patient and dedicated to the cause, one nut at a time. Our fury friend took daily action, however small, in furtherance of its future needs. Squirrels are purposeful, strategic survivors.

Be a squirrel.

“Callie: Everything’s going to be fine, you guys. We just have to be squirrels about this.

Jackson: Couldn’t have heard you correctly there.

Callie: Oh, you know, squirrels — they store nuts for the winter, right? But they don’t do      it all at once. They do it one nut at a time. Everyone has their part to play, so everything      just needs to handle their own nut. We do that, we get all the nuts.”

– Grey’s Anatomy, Season 12, Ep. 13, All Eyez on Me

“The mystery of lie is not a problem to be solved. It is a reality to be experienced.” – Art van der Leeuw

written by Jenni

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