Month: March 2016

Recently I was taking a trip. I fancy myself the kind of person who writes while traveling. Journal the day’s adventures, ooze some Salinger-style brilliance as I guzzle piña coladas poolside. While the perfect prose don’t actually ooze out of me while on vacay, I continue to pack my laptop with the best of intentions.

I also fancy myself the kind of person who can board a plane carrying a simple sack. Just toss in an ID, cash, my phone, Kindle, iPod, and a bottle of xanax: good to go. In reality I shove those things into a purse that could fit two bowling balls and a Maine Coon cat, then toss in two dozen other things I may or may not need. Heaven forbid I am away from four shades of tan eye shadow for the full duration of a five-hour flight.

The laptop won’t fit in this simple sack, of course. So it warrants its own carry-on bag. By “bag,” I mean a near-full-sized suitcase measuring the full specs allowed by the airline. I fancy myself the kind of person who can minimalist-pack, proud to have exactly one pair of underwear for each day of travel. In reality, I count out one pair of underwear for each day, then add not less than three more. I grab a dozen tank tops for a 6-day trip. I lay out 2 bras,  plus a sports bra, and stick-on bra, for a tropical trip in which I have set the goal to not wear a bra at all.

Once the goods for a 6-month stay abroad are laid out for my 6-night domestic trip, it is evident that the carry-on is necessary avec or sans laptop anyway. So much for the simple sack lifestyle.

But this trip, this trip was going to be different! I had planned to purchase a tablet with keyboard to be my prolific-traveling-self. This 10-inch, two-pound gem was to be thrown into my simple sack, thrown over my shoulder, and proudly toted through the airport without a carry-on-rolly-bag in sight.

I picked out the perfect little machine. I had the funds. I had over a week before I hopped on that plane, braless, simple sack in hand. However, the Universe had other plans. Not less than four times my attempt to purchase the tablet were foiled. These foiled attempts ranged from a capricious $70.00 increase in price to being treated like a criminal when trying to use a Visa gift card as tender. On or about the time of the fourth thwarted attempt, I accepted that the Universe simply did not want me to procure this tablet before I skipped town.

Just as well. I guzzled piña coladas and made a concerted effort to wear two tank tops each day. Each time I opened my laptop to vacay-write, which I did for the first time ever, I chalked up the sans-tablet writing up to a humorous life lessons on trusting the Universe.

Despite my foiled efforts pre-vacay, a few weeks after my return I popped over to Amazon to order the elusive tablet. The price was right. My Visa gift card had almost enough funds on it to cover the cost of the tablet and the few other random Amazon-awesomeness items in my shopping cart. I wasn’t even treated like a criminal while using the Visa gift card as payment!

Order confirmed! Finally! … but wait, the gift card did not have adequate funds to cover the entire cost of the order. There was not an option to pay for the remaining balance with another card. Oy. By the morning it was yet another thwarted attempt: your payment method has been declined.

I had come too far to give up. I called Amazon. Surely customer service could help me use two payment methods for one order. I patiently waited on hold for ten minutes. My hopes were once again dashed when I was told: “The system will not let me use two credit cards…”

Sigh. Okay Universe, I get it.

Then she went on to say: “… but I see you’ve been a loyal customer for a long time. I’m going to decrease the cost of your order so you can pay with just the gift card.”

With a $60.00 decrease in price my new tablet arrived on my doorstep 2-days later.

It would have been easy to overlook the lesson in this relatively insignificant experience. Fortunately, each thwarted effort was just so ridiculous I felt it could not be for naught.

A big lesson in trusting the Universe and Its mysterious ways encompassed in humorous experiences. A gift beyond all measure.

An opportunity to confront my over-packing habit. I hold out hope that the next time I board a plane it is with only a simple sack and a sh*it-eating grin.

“I trust the ebb and flow of the universe. I trust that lies bigger than what I can see. I trust that there is a divine order beyond my control. And I trust that no matter what happens, I will be alright.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Everything in the universe has a rhythm. Everything dances.” – Maya Angelou

written by Jenni

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“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu

 Indeed… yet that first step is the most difficult to take.

For me, this rings true across the board – from taking out that first plate from a clean dishwasher, to putting on workout clothes, to writing the first word of this musing. Small examples of a larger problem.

Consider the difficulty in starting a larger endeavor. Maybe something you have a burning desire to create, or something you have a long-standing desire to do, an endeavor that you truly care about. With all that passion backing the cause, why then would getting started prove to be such a challenge?

Standing at the precipice of a Great Beginning my inner-perfectionist takes hold. I demand excellence. I want the end-product to be great. I want the end-result to be a reflection of the vision. So, I do not begin.

Is that not the best lie you have ever heard? I did not begin a project I am passionate about, because I want it to be perfect. Brendon Burchard, personal development guru, coined this the “perfectionist lie,” and calls it the “prettiest excuse.”

At its root, the perfectionist lie is a pretty mask for fear, uncertainty, and distraction.

Fear of failure, fear of success (in an odd twist, I have learned that both the fear of failure and fear of success can live happily – exhaustingly – side-by-side in my head), fear of being judged, fear of finding out that I’m not as good as I think I am. Uncertain about how to begin, uncertain of my ability, uncertain if this passion-fueled endeavor is even the right path. Distracted by tasks of the day, distracted by the needs or wants of others, distracted by the intoxicating pleasure of wasting life on my Facebook news feed.

Wow,  that is some powerful mental crap.

Here’s the deal: fear is not going away, you may never be certain, there will always be distractions. Move forward anyway. Choose to be okay with feeling fear and uncertainty. Manage distractions.  Break up with excuses. Step bravely and boldly into your Great Beginning. Time is a finite resource, now is the time to begin.

Not perfect? Fine. How about it is done?

Take a single action. Begin.

“We at some point have to take ownership of our lives and realize that it is not because we’re pretty and we’re perfect, it is because we are scared and our lives are messy, and we haven’t got control of it yet. So this day, let’s start that, let’s be okay with the fear, let’s be okay with the fact that everything is going to be messy, but at least begin. At least complete it. Because nothing is perfected anyway, until it is completed. First it has to be completed, then we can tinker and tweak it, and perfect it.” – Brendon Burchard

written by Jenni

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The flow, aka the zone, is ” the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.” (trusted source: Wikipedia).

That glorious place where magic happens: in the flow.

Have you ever snapped out of Flow and wondered where the hell the hours have gone? After many hours of labor or skill, expecting to be exhausted, but instead feeling energized, buzzing, feeling alive. Flow is a place where we can create, complete, progress. Essentially, Flow is the place where we make sh*it happen.

We unwittingly fall into Flow, how can we intentionally cultivate Flow? Perhaps by examining the times we re-emerged from Flow, we may be able to pinpoint a specific thing that fosters Flow. Or, perhaps there is a through line for each of us to fall into our own Flow.

I examined my Flow and uncovered two through lines. My Flow comes from either: doing an activity that I truly and deeply enjoy; or, being up against a deadline, after procrastinating as long as possible, and having no other option than to just get sh*it done.

I can get lost on the ice for hours, or lost meandering through a good book. Or lost in a project with a looming deadline, knowing that the rush of completing the task in the nick of time will feel worth the stress inherent in the time spent procrastinating.

“Let the natural flow of the universe, course through your being, and harmonize your soul.” – Ram Dass

“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.” – Louis L’Amour

written by Jenni

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BEYOND THE “As SOON AS…” Have you ever put off something that you wanted to do on the altar of “as soon as…“?

As soon as I lose weight, I will buy a sparkly ice skating dress and enter a competition. As soon as I am thinner, I will buy a new bathing suit (even though my current one has not fit well for two vacations). As soon as my email inbox is empty, I will write the book that has been pent-up in my soul for years.

I am guilty.

Using the “as soon as…” as an excuse to not be, do, or have the things we desire in life, can serve as fertile soil for perceived chronic failure.

For example, I did not start eating well and exercising on Monday… or the Monday after that… or the Monday after that. I did not lose weight, so I did not buy the Swarovski-blinged dress. Sans the dress, I did not enter the ice skating competition.

That happened: more than once.

Then the “fu*ck it” moment happened. I wanted the fun-times with skating friends and the cheesy gold medal more than I wanted to avoid the perceived pain of putting myself out there.

I entered the competition. I ordered the dress. I prayed it would arrive in the mail on time and that it would actually fit… ish. I competed. I had an awesome time. On a pre-selected Monday, I started an at-home daily workout routine. I stuck with it and finished it: more than once. Then on a random day of the week, I made healthier food choices… and I did the same the day after that, and the day after that.

I released over 30-pounds. I have a shelf full of medals and trophies, and a closet full of sparkly ice skating dresses. But the most important piece: I have awesome memories of shared experiences with skating friends. Memories I will cherish for a lifetime.

Do the thing you want to do. Do the thing that scares you.

RISE above your “as soon as…”

“Let go of the you that you want to be and just love yourself right now.”

– Mary Gustafson

written by Jenni

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